Monday, 6 August 2012

Three months later and I need some SLEEP!

I really need to go to bed now, but I know I won't get any sleep so why waste time trying?

Because since Anouk learnt to crawl at nearly 8 months, she's forgotten how to sleep.  Where she had a three hour continuous daytime nap and even though it took her ages to fall asleep she slept  all night, it has unfortunately changed for the worse...

She wakes three times before I go to bed and then often during the night.  Sometimes Werner can soothe her, most of the time she just screams until I breastfeed her. The worst is that she used to wake up with me about 8am.  But now starts being really wakeful from about 5am - I am not a morning person.

But she is such a cute baby, I forgive her every morning when I see her smile with her two bottom teeth and her spit drewling over my face!!

We are truly blessed.  We had our first little holiday with Anouk near Apollo Bay on the Great Ocean Road and even though it was winter we had a wonderful time.  Australian nature at it's best - deserted.

The girls swam in the sea, found beautiful shells, saw koalas and a wallaby and just chilled.  Anouk kept us on our toes though as she is pulling herself up on everything and puts everything she sees into her mouth, but it was still beautiful and relaxing.

Sunday, 29 April 2012

Mothers Guilt and feeling blue...

Anouk is six months old and she is such a cutie.  Always smiling at her mum and dad and laughing at Mieke and Silke.  She has been sitting since 4 months but unfortunately refuses to roll.  She does it when I'm not looking so I know she can, but won't.  When I put her on her tummy she straightens her arms and gets into a crawling position but howls so loadly while doing it everyone rushes to pick her up.  Which is probably why she won't roll...

So since she was born I struggled to get her to sleep at night.  It took me hours and hours and hours.  I always knew my milk supply was low at night but because she slept through until four months I presumed that she did get enough milk.  And eventually I got really annoyed every night as I fed for hours but as soon as I put her down her eyes would open wide and I'd have to start again.  Then on Friday night I made her a little bottle of formula, only 125ml and sat down with her, expecting her to reject it the way she rejected the dummy.

Well she first chewed it a bit, but when she realized that the lovely warm milk comes out easily (and immediately) she caught on quickly and finished most of the bottle before having a little breastfeed for about 5 minutes and then went straight to sleep!

Same thing Saturday night, except this time she slept through until 6:00 am Sunday morning, had a breastfeed and then slept until 9:00am!

So either the formula contains sleeping potion or my poor little girl has been going to bed hungry since birth.  And she didn't wake up to annoy me but because she was hungry.  At least I don't believe in controlled crying and this is another reason why it's a daft idea.  Babies cry when something is wrong and if you don't respond to them they might stop crying because you're not coming.  But the cause of their crying is still there... how sad is that.  Imagine I left her to cry herself to sleep instead of just feeding her over and over again.

Otherwise I'm also feeling unexplicably sad for the past few weeks.  It defnitely has to do with the weather which is decidedly autumnly - rainy, cold and dark early.  Also I'm turning 40 next week and I don't have any friends or family here to celebrate it with.  Well I have 2 friends but not really a crowd.  And 40 is so ugh.  And I still feel (and sometimes act) like I'm about 11.  And we're not in a happy place financially.  And Mieke has been giving us a a hard time and I cannot face the fact that she's growing up and becoming a teenager.  And Silke's ashtma is flaring up.  And my baby took a bottle...

Of course we are very lucky to have what we do, and I am eternally thankful, but at the moment life sucks a little bit.  Where does the time go.  And where has my sweet little Mieke Muis gone...

Tuesday, 3 April 2012

Fun in Lilydale

This Easter holiday our days are packed with random things to do.  Yesterday it was the optometrist (Silke's eyes are fine but Mieke needs glasses).  Today it was my paid for exercise class at Yarra Health in Lilydale.  As it's an hour and a half and it takes about 20 mins to get there I had to take all my girls with me but it was a surprisingly fun day.

First we did some aerobic exercise, then yoga and then a talk about baby toys / activities.  Anouk was her usual angel self she presents when with other people, sweetly watching as we exercised.  Mieke and Silke read and did some drawing and Silke eventually joined me in doing some yoga and looking after all the babies.

The were really very well behaved and I was proud of them.  Afterwards we strolled across the road to the park where some ibis birds were also strolling about and lots of cockatooes flying overhead.  There are also ducks swimming in the public swimming pool so Lilydale seems to be a birdwatchers haven!  The girls enjoyed a play in the park, the weather was lovely - not too hot but still nice and warm.  Then we walked to the museum and had something to drink and biscuits.  Anouk slept so I could have my coffee in peace which was nice.  Then we visited the museum and had a look at some embroidery while the girls tried it out as well on a huge wall hanging.  Overall a surprisingly nice day!

We then popped into Target at Chirnside Park to get Silke some last minute birthday pressies, I got her a Moxie Girl prince and princess, her favourite Littlest pet shops and a baby doll.  I'm going to stop buying her stuff now as I already bought a dolls house, two dinosaurs and a blackboard.

Anouk is getting really cute now, screeching at the top of her lungs which I prefer as it's better than crying!  She also sits really well now and can pick stuff up and sometimes pass it from one hand to the other.  Still not that much interested in rolling but I'm not too worried, she's a strong, big girl!

Thursday, 29 March 2012

Happy average 40th Birthday Werner & why things aren't getting done

On Tuesday it was Werner's 40th birthday and it is at times like these that we feel the pain of being away from friends and family.  Because instead of a Big Bash somewhere it was a quiet dinner at home with his 4 girls.  We did have champagne though!

Was also tricky with Anouk but I managed to make risotto, salmon and apple pie and Mieke made a chocolate cake all by herself.

He was impressed with his Nespresso coffee machine (although I'm enjoying it even more than him, especially with the milk frother thingy) and the fact that I had the pen he chose engraved with his name.

I also got him some helium balloons which was a feat in itself with Anouk and the pram and the balloons nearly flying away!

We will be spending Easter weekend at the Marriot but really how much fun can it be with three kids and one of them attached to my boob half the time?  Anyway we will try and celebrate and be cheerful.  But I must admit this baby lark seems really very hard this time around.

Of course I'm not working this time, which means I never get a break because I haven't introduced Anouk to a bottle as I'm dreadfully lazy at expressing and would like to avoid formula this time.  So it's all my own doing but bugger it's really hard!!  I'm sure my other babies were easier, or maybe one forgets.  What really gets to me is the hours and hours I spend upstairs every evening trying to get her to sleep.  Last night I sat there for an hour when suddenly she lifted her head up and SMILED!  Wide awake. So I took her downstairs and had my soup with her in the bumbo next to me and tried again at 10pm which is really far too late.

Today I'm feeling very frustrated as I cannot go out of her sight before she starts crying.  Werner tried to get her to sleep tonight but she just cried until I came. She is really very cute and we all adore her but WOW she's hard work!!  Which is why the dishwasher is half unpacked, laundry is not folded, half a basket is still wet and the filing haven't been done since, well since we moved here...

But they are only babies for such a short time, I must remind myself to enjoy the cuddles, her soft hair, the way she gums my face and pulls my hair when feeding and that smile... that gorgeous smile makes it all worthwhile.

Sunday, 22 January 2012

Baby Baby Baby Baby

I'm obsessed... with everything baby.  And it really isn't my fault because as babies do Anouk just took over my whole life.  So 95% of my time I'm feeding, carrying, changing, dressing, bathing, singing to, playing with my baby.  In the morning I love it, in the evening dare I say it,  I hate it as it's exhausting.  But then we start all over again and it's love at first sight.

Luckily my two big girls absolutely adore their new baby sister.  Mieke likes teaching her new tricks like standing at 2 months.

Anouk is also smiling lots and laughed the first time last week.  Here she is chuckling at Mieke doing Michael Jackson moves on the Wii.

She's also keen on learning how to play the Wii.

Look at those fat little legs!  When I last weighed her at 2 months she was at the 90 percentile and weighed 5.8 kilos which is nearly double her birth weight.  Isn't it amazing that I did that, I'm feeding her fat!  I struggle a bit in the heat as it was 35 degrees in Melbourne today and I hate water and have to remind myself to drink a lot.  So sometimes there isn't enough milk and she moans a bit and sometimes it's just too hot and sticky and she doesn't want to drink.  But I don't worry too much as I know she's doing well and enjoys her melkie a lot!

I also moved her into her cot this week because she was getting a bit big for her bassinette - she seems to like it as she can see out of it.  Also when she wakes she looks at her mobile for a bit or spend some time sucking her hand before she yells for me which is nice.

She loves her bath, but really hates to get out and get dressed which makes life a bit difficult.

 But even though she's a sensitive little soul who burst into tears at the sight of bubbles or when she has to have her nappy changed or when she poos or ... or ... she is just adorable when she smiles at me in the morning and kick her little legs in the bath and cuddles up to me and I feel her soft hair against my face.  There is nothing as absolutely yummy as a baby!