Thursday 16 September 2010

Kan ons asseblief tog iewers warmer heen trek??

Na 'n dol week het ek en my dogters vanaand 'Marley and me' gekyk en ek en Mieke het natuurlik ons oe uitgehuil op die einde en sy was baie kwaad dat ek so 'n hartseer fliek gekry het.  Silke was inteendeel glad nie hartseer nie maar het darem vir ons miniatuur toiletrolstukkies aangedra.

Wat my egter getref het van die fliek is hoe maklik die familie hulle self oppak en iewers anders heen trek wanneer hulle wil.  Groter huis, ander plek, elke drie jaar of so.

Wat presies is wat ons altyd in Suid Afrika gedoen het.  Elke twee jaar om die waarheid te se.  En selfs om hiernatoe te trek was easy peasy, neem besluit, kry werk, kry visa, vlieg Engeland toe, huur woonstel, koop huis(ie). 

Nou is dit amper vier jaar later en ons is 'stuck'.  Kan nie terug nie, kan nie vorentoe nie.  Meeste van die tyd is ek nogal tevrede met die stand van sake.  Maar dan kyk ek flieks van mense wat trek na warmer streke want hulle wil, na groter huise met swembaddens en honde.  En my kind kry 'n maatjie maar daar is nerens plek om regtig te speel nie, nie plek vir 'n swaai of 'n trampolien nie.  Dan trek my keel toe van benoudheid want hier sit ons nou en my kinders word groot en hulle mis uit op lekker kindwees.  Mis uit op boomklim en in jou eie swembad te swem en waatlemoen te eet en met jou hond te speel. 

En ja hulle geniet skool en dis seker nie regtig belangrik nie en ons het 'n huis en verken die wereld vol.  Dit moet tog genoeg wees, hoekom kan dit nie genoeg wees nie...

Tuesday 14 September 2010

My Big Baby Girl at her new school and why I am both a terrible and an excellent mom (mum)


It was Silke's first day at school on Monday the 6th September.  She was crying because she leaned backwards and the door opened and she fell down.  I was crying because of all the reasons I listed below.

Of course she is doing fine, she is a cheerful little thing.  I miss her terribly and she also misses me a lot and I worry about her ashtma and her teacher probably think I am a paranoid lunatic.  Tonight was Phonics evening so afterwards I told the teacher why I am so particularly paranoid about Silke and she told me that she will be watching her carefully and that she can totally understand.  And even now when I talk about when Silke got pneumonia my heart starts racing and I feel really ill.  How odd....

But first of all I want to brag quite a bit.  Mieke got chosen as one of only 4 Year 4 children to take part in a workshop for 'gifted and talented writers' at Guildford High School.  They are going there for an hour every Tuesday for 6 weeks and are being tutored by the 6th form girls and they are writing a play and then on the last day they are performing it to us as a radio production.  I am so proud my heart just wants to burst.  Because I always knew she was really very clever.  When I could have conversations with her at 18 months, when she knew all her letters before she turned two, when  .... you get the idea.  But then she started school and she seemed to do quite ... average.

But then in Year 3 she started to do really well and even though she is still a bit iffy with maths I know now that she is as clever as I thought she was.

Silke is another story.  Which is why I felt like a dreadful mother today.  Because the teachers told us tonight to encourage our children whatever they do and not to put pressure on them and I have been doing just that.  Pushing her and making her feel disappointed if she doesn't get things right the first (or the second or the third) time like Mieke did.  Because at school they do the pushing, at home its my job to encourage.

I will try to do better tomorrow my lovely children.  I don't want you to ever be dismayed and dissapointed.  Not because of me....

Sunday 5 September 2010

My baby girl is starting school tomorrow and my heart is aching

It feels terribly wrong to send her to school - to me she is just a bit more than a baby.  She still occasionally wets the bed, likes her 'pienk melkie' at night and still bursts into tears at the drop of a hat.

Who is going to cuddle her when she cries, who will protect her when the teacher ignores her, who will defend her when the kids annoy her.  Who will hover near the jungle gym to catch her just in case she falls and who will have her ashtma pump handy when she can't breathe?

Who will help her put on her socks the right way, who will remind her to wipe her bum and not to eat her peas with her hands?  Who will kiss it better when she gets hurt and cut her apple into pieces the way she likes it?

Not me anymore.... this mummy's heart is broken.  I will miss my little Silke Milke more than words can say.  I wish I could have just one more day.