It was Silke's first day at school on Monday the 6th September. She was crying because she leaned backwards and the door opened and she fell down. I was crying because of all the reasons I listed below.
Of course she is doing fine, she is a cheerful little thing. I miss her terribly and she also misses me a lot and I worry about her ashtma and her teacher probably think I am a paranoid lunatic. Tonight was Phonics evening so afterwards I told the teacher why I am so particularly paranoid about Silke and she told me that she will be watching her carefully and that she can totally understand. And even now when I talk about when Silke got pneumonia my heart starts racing and I feel really ill. How odd....
But first of all I want to brag quite a bit. Mieke got chosen as one of only 4 Year 4 children to take part in a workshop for 'gifted and talented writers' at Guildford High School. They are going there for an hour every Tuesday for 6 weeks and are being tutored by the 6th form girls and they are writing a play and then on the last day they are performing it to us as a radio production. I am so proud my heart just wants to burst. Because I always knew she was really very clever. When I could have conversations with her at 18 months, when she knew all her letters before she turned two, when .... you get the idea. But then she started school and she seemed to do quite ... average.
But then in Year 3 she started to do really well and even though she is still a bit iffy with maths I know now that she is as clever as I thought she was.
Silke is another story. Which is why I felt like a dreadful mother today. Because the teachers told us tonight to encourage our children whatever they do and not to put pressure on them and I have been doing just that. Pushing her and making her feel disappointed if she doesn't get things right the first (or the second or the third) time like Mieke did. Because at school they do the pushing, at home its my job to encourage.
I will try to do better tomorrow my lovely children. I don't want you to ever be dismayed and dissapointed. Not because of me....
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